ophilinonoo replied to your post: u: *says something offensive* me: hey u: hay is…
im crying at that tag
it was a very arduous 20 seconds of googling
u: *says something offensive*
me: hey
u: hay is for horses
me: well i think we’ll make an exception for you, cause jackasses eat hay too
on my lunch break i noticed i had a missed call and a voice message, so i dialed my voicemail and listened to the 5-second message
it was so quick and contained so little that first i missed it and had to replay it several times, but i made out what sounded like “hate you” in a congested voice, then some weird breathing sounds, and then the message ended
the missed call, as you might have guessed, did not match up with any of my contacts, but i recognized the area code - 801. that’s basically all of metropolitan utah: salt lake, ogden, orem, provo (where I went to college for a few semesters)
i couldn’t fathom who in utah might have called me to creepily tell me they hated me. i may have distanced myself from some of my utah acquaintances by having left the mormon church, but i was never important enough to anyone there to be hated by them
so when i got home i used a reverse cell lookup service that stealth-calls the number you input and records the number’s voice mail message
oh! it turns out it was my cousin, who has recently expressed interest in hiring me to do a portrait of her mother and father
obviously she was trying to call me directly instead of by proxy through my mother, which she had previously done
mystery solved! except…
now i’m left not knowing what the hell she said…
There’s a customer still at bed bath and beyond right now and we closed an hour and fifteen minutes ago.
well i am late for work because i read the schedule for the wrong week :’)
pencil drawings usually take about a half an hour for me because at that point if i keep drawing at it i’ll fuck it up
on the computer though a drawing can take months
oops i forgot to dismantle the patriarchy today
another selfie from a while ago
actually you can’t see my face v well with the hat but i got complimented twice by strangers on the street b/c of my hat
my youngest brother’s name is mark so sometimes i’ll greet him like “oh hi mark!” or reply to a comment of his with “hahah what a story, mark!”
it’s intensely gratifying
